Mind goes blank, heart stops and you're stuck. 100 pairs of eyes boring into you. The podium in front of you. Hands shaking, palms sweating and you feel a blackout coming on. This is what the fear of public speaking did to me for a long time. It was a very real fear that took the following tips to help me get out of it!
The source of fear-Being Judged : The fear of not measuring up to expectations, making a mistake, getting hurt, embarrassing yourself; this is the source of your fear. Don't try to measure up to their expectations. Instead, measure up to your own. This is a fear that is in your mind. As long as you come from an authentic place you have nothing to fear about.
Ditch PowerPoint : Nothing drives me crazier than watching people read verbatim from a presentation. The best speakers are storytellers - not readers - and if you're using slides, your audience will follow the screen instead of you. Storytelling means sharing an experience with a beginning, middle and end. The brain has evolved to crave this format - 65% of our conversations are made up of personal stories - and these things stimulate the mind in ways regurgitating information does not.
Practice makes perfect : The more you practice reading your material aloud in front of people, the easier it gets for you to face your audience. Start off by reading to your family. Maybe just one member, and each time increase the audience number. Over a period of time you get more confident and before you know it, you are a few steps closer to overcoming this fear!
Be Vulnerable : The only way to truly grab your audience attention is by being real with them. Be yourself. Share your story. Get personal. People realize you aren't putting on a mask. They will appreciate your honesty. Being vulnerable with them is what will connect you with your audience.
There will always come a point in your life where you will have to speak in public. Maybe it is to speak out against something; it might be at work, a social gathering. At any of these instances, the minute you exude confidence, half your work is done. Speak passionately, speak from the heart. Grab their attention and you are a winner already!
Facing Change with Courage
Facing Change with Courage
In a fast-changing world, we must change how we approach our lives in order to set ourselves up to thrive in the world we'll be living in ten years from now. One of the common fears we encounter is the fear of change; we fear doing something new or different. Some may freak out just with the thought of changing a habit, style, place of stay or something that has become a party of them.
Accept change as a regular feature : It is only if you look at change as something that is unexpected will you fear it. If you make up your mind to accept that change, in life, is constant and that it is more often than not there for your benefit, you tend to have an easier time accepting change.
Focus on the possibilities : Try and look at the possibilities that come along with this change. Whatever the change may be, there are always new possibilities. Do not let change become an excuse to grab an upcoming golden opportunity.
Anticipate change: Every decision that you take in life, and every stable ground that you find, always anticipate change. This way you will always be one step ahead. In short, change must not surprise you again!
Plan : Once you have anticipated change, focus on the possibilities and get your tools ready. There is nothing better than to plan and prepare for a change ahead of time.
Seek Support : Always remember, in whatever circumstance of life you are in, you are never alone. You will find someone who has walked that path before and is there to share a tip or too to embrace this change. If you still can't figure any of this and nothing fits into your story, then Take this as life lesson #101. There is ALWAYS a reason for change. Whatever happens in your life doesn't happen by accident, if you are at a place in your life where you do not want to be, it is not by accident. You were brought there for a reason.Wait patiently to find out what the reason is. Change doesn't happen without a lesson in it. And it doesn't have to be scary. It doesn't have to be daunting. So, roll up your sleeves, usher in change, and conquer it.
The lion is not so fierce as they paint him – George Herbert
5 ways to overcome the Fear of Failure
5 ways to overcome the Fear of Failure
Each of us have fears of our own. They are always there, lurking in the farthest corners of our minds and show up when we least expect them to. Some of us have fear of rejection, of heights, of love and sometimes of failure too. The fear of failure can be a very real thing and this is how you can face it.
• Do you see it as an opportunity? The first step towards overcoming this fear is to BELIEVE a failure is NOT the end. Take a moment and read that again. If you fail, it DOES not mean you are done for! You learn from it. Fight with it. Wrestle with it. And you OVERCOME failure. Failure is anopportunity. An opportunity to grow. The biggest failure is not failure itself, but forgetting to learn from this fall. That is when you havefailed.
• Do you know where it's coming from? The fear of failure doesn't come from failing but rather the repercussions of it. Many of us are afraid of failing because of the aftermath that we face. We fear rejection or we begin to doubt our own capabilities, we fear that people may not approach us anymore. REMEMBER!You will NOT be rejected just because you had a failing.
• Have you done this? Say goodbye to the comfort zone, open your eyes and see the world has probably moved on while you're stuck in your comfort zone. So the best thing to do here is to get out of that comfort zone! If you are not evolving, progressing, learning, exploring you are allowing the fear of failure to possess you and control you. You do not want that, do you?
• Grab your confidence shield: The solution to fear of failure is the opposite of it. Confidence. Only when you are confident can you truly fight this hard and messy battle. No soldier ever went out into the war zone thinking that he would fail. You enter a battlefield, and without knowing how the war might end, you still give it your all. You are confident enough to venture out into the field. And that is what is important. You just need to be confident enough to take that first step. Confidence can do a ton of things, and drive away the fear of failure is just one of them!
• Company matters: This is CRUCIAL. If you hang around with a bunch of people that are not motivated to pursue anything in life, then chances are that you might be in the same boat. But if you surround yourself with those who are not afraid of taking a chance in life, who are not afraid of failing, who are motivated even with obstacles and failures in their way; you also tune your mind to think like them. Failure is a natural stone in life. It keeps rolling down the path you tread on. You have the option to either pick it up and throw it away as far as you can or side step it and move on. The choice is yours.
The FOMO Effect
The FOMO Effect
There's a new fear in town. Say hello to our new friend, the 'Fear Of Missing Out.' For short, you can call him FOMO. FOMO is nothing but the Fear of Missing out on fun things that other people are doing. The more you check the fun life your friends are indulging in, the more you begin to hate the life you are living. Aren't you finding that little absurd already! So here is what's happening to you.
• You are in a battle to make sure you are updated about everything that is happening on Social Media so that you are not out of the loop?
• Do your parents comment that you are stuck to your phone 24*7
• Do you crave to update every single moment on Instagram or snap chat as if the world out there will collapse if you don't!
Now all these indicators are signs of the FOMO Effect – Fear of Missing OUT
How does FOMO effect You?
♦ It makes you Anxious, about missing out on fun and updates
♦ You Lose yourself. In a race to show others what you are not
♦ Dogma of Reel life and Real Life crisisin which you lose sight of real relationships Vs online ones
Say good-bye to the FOMO:
Here are a few tips to Overcome it:
√ Remind yourself that nobody has a perfect life. What you see and what you are being made to see can be far from reality. It may just be a partial truth
√ Do not let your fingers move towards your phone the first thing when you wake up. Just open your window for a bright sunshine or give a hug to a loved one around.This will rejuvenate you instead of sulking about life right at the start of the day.
√ Let go of comparisons that you may have built up in your mind by watching pictures and status updates of others in your circle. Life was fun and beautiful even before social media came in and need not be always up there for others to comment or like.
√ Instead, focus on yourself. Set apart a fixed time to check your social media. Maybe few minutes in the evening. Initially you may have withdrawal symptoms, but practice this for a week and you are good to go! You must be able to control your phone and not the other way around.
Follow these few tips, and you will see a change in yourself!
"In a world where everyone is over exposed, the coolest thing you can do is maintain
Psychology of Dating
Psychology of Dating
At some point or the other in our life we reach a stage where we are suddenly aware of the opposite 'gender'. That boy that used to annoy you in middle school suddenly makes your heart pound harder; that girl that you thought was too whiny suddenly makes the world around you freeze every time you look at her. This is normal. It's a normal phase of life, something that everyone goes through, yes, even our parents did.
A little bit of heaven on earth
As you begin to deal with all these emotions, new and wondrous as they are, you zero in on one person and feel like as if this is the one for you and you start dating that person. You begin to spend more time with them and at the beginning it feels right. It feels perfect. Maybe like a little bit of heaven on earth some may even say. You like spending time with this person, you find him attractive, you like talking to her, whatever he/she says goes with you, and you enjoy their quirky little habits. It's the beginning phase of a fun relationship.
A little bit of not so much heaven:
However, as the weeks roll by, and days turn into months something begins to nag at you. The fun in the relationship begins to slowly wear off. You begin to realize that those quirky habits that you once liked actually begin to annoy you; you're bored easily with this person. You feel like he/ she doesn't let you be yourself. You begin to expect more privacy and time away from the person. And slowly you both begin to fight. What was once just cute little difference of opinions, are now full-fledged fights. He says something you don't like or agree to, you also say something back. Finding middle ground has become hard! And on a bitter note, angry and hurt, you break off the relationship.
What went wrong?
You are at a stage where you're experimenting. You are young. You have all the hormones raging and there is probably too much confusion in your mind. At this stage, it is not in our system to make a serious commitment or leap into a long term relationship. And hence, it is easier for us to walk away from it than to fight for it.
So, what do I do?
Whenever you experience something new, like feelings of attraction etc, it is always better to stop and analyze before jumping into something. Ask yourself why you want to date? To have fun? To have someone's constant company? Are you thinking of marriage? See, if that is the ideal reason to want to date. At the age of 12 or 13 or 14 or even 16, marriage is far from your mind. So, if you want to date to have fun, that may last for a while, but once it fizzles out, either you or your partner is left with an angry and a broken heart. But if you are willing to wait until you are ready to consider marriage, you have all the time in the world to do other things then without the hassle of a relationship! You can be friends with the opposite gender of your age without worrying what your significant other is going to say!
As you grow older and you consider marriage, it is more sensible to interact with people from the opposite gender with the prospective of wanting to settle down with them because then, your priority is no more to have 'fun' but a long term, committed relationship.