It is very rare for someone to say that they have never felt lonely in their life. This feeling can be triggered by any of the many circumstance in a person's life. It could be a break up, shifting to a new place, new place of work etc. And sometimes you may go a very long time not knowing that you are exhibiting signs or symptoms of loneliness. They may look like the following:
Lack of sleep: If you have tiny wake ups at regular intervals of the night instead of one full good sleep, chances are that you are a little lonely. When your mind is empty and filled with a void that isn't being filled, your sleep can be distracted. You may not lie awake, but frequently wake up for a few minutes and sleep right off.
Social Withdrawal: This is where someone has totally given up on humanity. They are so lonely, that they begin to live it as a way of life. They begin to withdraw from social gatherings. If you grab a chair at the farther most corner at a wedding, you might just be lonely and may just not know it yet.
Low self-esteem: Now this is a sad place to be in. Lonely and no self -worth. If you are always second guessing yourself and your choices, then you may need to stop and think why you do so. If you are constantly wondering that you are not up to the mark in performing certain tasks then maybe, just maybe you might be feeling a little lonesome.
Increased love for inanimate objects: If you have begun spending more time with your phone or laptop or spend continuous scrolling through your Facebook feed, then you are most likely transferring the affection that you ideally should be passing onto to another human onto a 'thing'. The reason some people go gaga over the latest tech releases is because they are lonely. Typically happen to people who have a lack of social connection and attach their love onto something that cannot leave them.
Aimless Floating around: Ever wonder how some people can be aimless in life? More often than not, they do not want to be aimless in life. These are the people that are searching for that aim in life and not able to find one. People who suffer from intense feelings of loneliness have no will to even look for that aim.
So, the next time, before you make a snap judgement, spend a few minutes talking to such a person, and you will see a hole in their heart and mind that only another human touch or contact can fill; and who knows, you might just be that person. To save someone. To save a soul.
5 ways to chase loneliness away.
5 ways to chase loneliness away.
People don't usually like to be alone unless they are introverts and enjoy their own company. That's where it differs. There are people who enjoy solitude but they are not the lonely bunch. Loneliness is not a problem that cannot be dealt with. It's very easy to tackle loneliness once you know the right steps.
Step 1: Accept the Fact: Traumas or transitions may act as subtle invasion of self-imposed solitude. Like with any mathematical or psychological problem, understand that it is a problem, but then you have a solution to it. Accept the fact that you are lonely. Recognize your state of mind and heart, so that you can deal with it.
Step 2: Face the fact: Build enough strength and courage to face the fact that you are lonely. The death of a spouse, a relocation away from old friends, and other unalterable circumstances must be faced squarely. Let us use these transitions in our lives to open doors to new experiences. We must also be willing to let go of the past and move on.
Step 3: Positive attitude: Now that you know and have understood that you are in trouble, don't bask on the thought. Instead, you get up, shake yourself and wake up and tackle it. Never underestimate yourself or think of yourself as worthless. Keeping a positive attitude and having faith in your own self will make things easier.
Step 4: Boost your self-esteem: People who are lonely usually get into this feeling because they have low self-esteem. While you do the 3rd step also start developing your self-esteem. Take up things that you are good at and this should boost your morale and confidence. Instead of sitting in your room glued to the TV or any other inanimate thing around you, meet people and try to break off the shell that has hardened around you. Join a club, do something for a cause. There are many groups out there looking for volunteers for help. With this you can also make an effort to make new friends. This will also keep you happy as you will be involved in something you like to do.
Step 5: The golden Step:
Do not stop once you have begun: Self help is the best help. But if you still feel you cannot help yourself, help is right around the corner. Don't give up! Don't give up on opening up to someone and seeking help.
Why do you feel lonely ?
Why do you feel lonely ?
There can be many causes for loneliness. People who suffer from feelings of loneliness or undergo depression may not realize why they are feeling so. Knowing the reasons for feeling so blue can help you overcome it; because you can't treat a problem without knowing the cause. Considering that diagnosis forms the main step to cure any ailment we shall look into some causes of loneliness.
1) An abusive past: Those who have spent their past or childhood being abused or rejected by someone can grow up with feelings of loneliness. Statements like "you are good for nothing" or "nothing good can ever come out of you" even said casually, can have an intense effect on the mind of a person. They begin to build walls around them, to protect themselves from feeling hurt and from these words that pierce them. These walls don't let anyone else come in. The people within these walls are lonely and hurt.
2) New Place, new variables: A shift to a new place, new surroundings, and new people can cause the mind to be shaken from the routine that it is used to. Youngsters and others that shift to new places for work purposes experience intense feelings of loneliness especially when they leave a place that they were attached to. Everything is different. Roads are different, shops are different, none of the routes are familiar, and you know no one; all the variables are new. That's when the loneliness sets in. It requires a lot of mental preparation and a strong will to adjust. If someone is resistant to change, this could be a tough process to deal with.
3) A Broken heart and a broken mind: If you haven't been here before, believe you are one of the lucky ones. Heartache can cause mental pain like no other. When you are torn away from the one you love or still love, it can cause intense feelings of loneliness. This is usually brought on by the need and longing to be with that person again. Only time can heal this. Time and friendship. The right kind. Human behaviour is so unique and all of us are so very different from one another. There are other small and big expressions of loneliness that occur with all of us and vary from people to places and of course experiences.
Loneliness: An Introduction
Loneliness: An Introduction
Before you read any further; straighten your back, and look up. Release that tension on the back of your neck. Take two deep breaths.
Now, for a Truth Essay
The internet has really shrunk our world. Our parents/grandparents sent out letters to each other, and it took at least 2 weeks before the other received it. Long Distance Relationships were maintained through letters back then. Now, things have changed. With Whatsapp, Facebook messenger and of course, Jio, we can look at our loved ones’ faces whenever we feel like.
Yet, we don’t.
The internet, strangely is crammed with things that can help us distract ourselves from our need for interacting with other people. Getting likes on Facebook, or Instagram, seems to be enough; and then there’s facebook, pinterest, youtube and many many other sites that can make sure you’re unaware of how bored/lonely you actually are for a really long time.
Dopamine, the Happy hormone in our head is released when we hang out with friends and have fun; but it’s also released when we game or scroll through the timelines. But we always feel better if we were ‘independent’. And that’s how it starts. Soon, we become comfortable with our ‘time-wasters’ and we forget how to ‘wait’ for anything. The moment nothing’s going on, our hand reaches out for our phone, and it’s not to call someone.
So how can we change ourselves from Phone-obsessed zombies to normal socializing humans? The answer’s simple. (not easy; Simple) It requires a change in attitude. It means you need to have to look at the world differently in order to do so.
In the following articles, we’re going to talk about an issue that our rising Jio sim enabled middle class is going through. Loneliness. And it’s something that we’ve brought upon ourselves.
In the process, we’ll also talk about how to cope with this issue, and turn the situation around.
And in case you really want to know how to change your attitude right now, Feel free to call. We’ve been where you are, and we’ve gone through it ourselves; and we can help you look at things differently. Just give us a call @9445910101
The Benefits Of Being Alone
The Benefits Of Being Alone
With technology that is meant to bring people together, we have only drifted further apart, because we feel that our personal slaves, our mobile phones and our social media can entertain us much better than actual friends.
And that’s how we begin to lose touch, and soon, the the small awkwardness of calling a new friend to hang out becomes incredibly big, and now we’re all alone! Now what?
But may be life wasn’t like that. One doesn’t become lonely on purpose. Moving house, and now settled in a new place with no friends. Not knowing the language, or the culture, and are looked at as an outsider. Here are a few things one can do when alone. Introspection
Perhaps being by oneself was not in our control, but perhaps we become alone for a reason. We now have ample time to look into ourselves and sort our priorities. The greats wake up early in the morning looking for some solitude and silence in their otherwise busy day. They wake up, stay by themselves, and look inward and sort their priorities. This act makes sure they are held together, and aren’t reacting to things like headless chickens.
The best way to introspect, is to look into our lives, and put down every single task that we need to do on to the paper. Put them all down. Perhaps that list isn’t very huge, but once we do that; we think of something we need to achieve. Take time, and do not be vague about it; like ‘I want to lose weight’. Be specific, like “I want to lose 30 kilos in a year” or “I want to be able to run a half marathon in 5 months”.
Once we come up with self-made goals like this, our task-list becomes bigger, because now, we’ll have to put “exercise”, and “diet planning” and other specifics on the list.
Keep working on this list, until the day is full (but with ample time to take a break), and the introspection is complete.
For a clearer method of introspection, check out David Allen’s “Getting things Done”. Learn new Skills
As a writer, typing is a key skill I need. So when I was sick, and in a new city, I took the time to develop my typing skills; With three months of constant typing practise, my typing skills improved dramatically and now I am happy to say that I can type as fast as I can think, without having to look at the keyboard or the screen when i type. There are many handy skills that can be learnt to help either our resume, or just in life. Having a working knowledge of computer coding can take us quite far in life, especially today; even if that’s not our area of expertise. Basic woodworking, or electric maintenance, or plumbing can bring us a long way when it comes to setting up our homes. Get in Touch with the Spiritual Side
People usually hate loneliness because they allow their thoughts to take them to dark places. However, if we can control our thoughts, we can take our minds to greater heights. With good books, and some healthy meditation, we can, on our own, conquer our own minds, as we begin our search for the meaning of life.
But all that said, there’s nothing like a good conversation that will give us the energy to tackle loneliness. Drop in a message, and we can have a nice conversation and see how we can take this forward!